The First 44

Whelp, the first 44 hats of 2013 are on their way to cold heads.  Or, sort of.  The ones in the box have been dropped off with a woman who volunteers at a food pantry for the homeless/near homeless in Johnson County, just south of Indianapolis.  Even though tomorrow is the first day of spring, we're still having highs in the 30s and 40s, and we've got a couple days of snow coming up in the 10 day forecast.  And there are no homeless shelters anywhere in Johnson County, something that I just found out.  So a lot of the people they work with are sleeping in cars, if they're lucky, or outdoors if they're not.

The hats in the laundry basket will get boxed up, and those will being going in the mail tomorrow for Trinity Place Shelter in New York.  Trinity is an LGBTQ youth shelter that I heard about from Leanna Renee Hieber when I met her last year at RT.  I saw a tweet yesterday from Trinity that the weather has been ugly in NYC, too, and their volunteers have been coming in early to provide a few extra hours of warmth and shelter to the teens they serve.  Trinity does good work, and if you've got a little wiggle room in your budget, I know they'd be happy for the help.

And now, I need to go knit something.  My donation tubs are empty again.

I Have Decided

All right, I've hit my limit.  I've been puttering around, saying I want to get this done.  But this is it.  I've decided that my room is going to be completely redone-- painted, new carpet, new linens and widow dressings, new furniture bought and assembled-- by my birthday.  That gives me just about two months to get it all done.  Fortunately, I pretty much know what I want.  I haven't looked at paint chips yet, but I know I want lemon yellow walls.  (So much more cheerful than the sort of gray-ish lavender I have now.)

I want this bedding set.

This TV stand/media storage.

This glass-fronted bookcase for yarn storage, except in white.  (I'm showing you the black version so you can see the frosted pattern on the doors.)

And possibly a second bookcase, without the doors, just for more storage.

I'll also have to figure out stuff like lighting-- there's an overhead light, but it's the most horrendous, depressing thing you've ever seen.  I literally wince every time I have to turn the overhead light on.  And I'll need to figure out something about the carpet.  It's a weird lavender color.  I've never replaced carpet before, and I have no idea how much it will cost.  Maybe I'll just give it a good professional cleaning and look at the floor as little as possible.

And of course I have to clean out all the crap so I can get to the walls and carpet.  But believe it or not, I've been making some minor, but encouraging progress.  So I'm going to keep plugging away, hopefully at a faster pace.

Because I'm really sick of existing like this, and I want a livable space.

Cat Pictures- Julie, Don't Look!

Big Day

It's been a long day, and let me tell you-- I am TIRED.

First, I went to the doctor.  She's going to give me one more round of antibiotics, this time a different one, to see if whatever is going on in my left boob clears up.  If not, she's sending me to a specialized breast surgeon.  She seems to be leaning away from infection and more toward inflammatory something or other going on in there.  With the Crohn's and the inflammatory joint stuff, I wouldn't be surprised if I've developed some weird, auto-immune breast issue.  I asked if that was a possibility, and she didn't deny it.  But she wasn't aware of any auto-immune diseases that affect the breast.  (Neither am I, but since there are about a million auto-immune diseases out there, it's not surprising that there's one I'm unfamiliar with.)  The impression I got from her was that she's concerned, if this antibiotic doesn't work, that it might be inflammatory breast cancer.  That's pretty aggressive, and not something you want to get.  I asked if it was possible for the mammogram to come out clear and still have inflammatory breast cancer.  She said it is, if it's just inflammatory, and there's no lump.  So kind of waiting it out.  If RT weren't next week, I'd probably go ahead and go to the surgeon to get it checked out instead of trying this third round of antibiotics.  But at least with RT coming up, I've got something to focus on other than ol' lefty.

In more positive news, I drove today for the first time in over a year.  There was no real reason why I haven't driven in the last year.  I just don't go anywhere much, and 90% of the time when I leave the house it's to go somewhere with my parents anyway.  So I just don't drive.  Plus, I don't own a car, so driving means taking Mom or Dad's car.  It was really uncomfortable there for a while, although I was perfectly comfortable behind the wheel today.  So yay!

After the doctor's office I went to Walmart to fill my prescription and get some last minute stuff for RT.  I really wore myself out, but I had a good time!  Check out this fabulous bag I got!  (The Cherries among us will appreciate it.)  And it was super cheap-- 88 cents!  The next time this bag sees the light of day, it will be filled with goodies at RT.

And here is a picture of the little gadget cozy I knit this weekend to cover up my mp3 player/wifi/fake smart phone thingie.  I'd take a picture of it with the gadget in it, but my gadget is my camera, so....

The cozy won't protect it from any hard knocks, but hopefully it will keep the screen from getting all scratched up in my purse as it gets carted around next week.  And I'll try to remember to take lots of pictures, so you get to see all the wonderful readers and writers I meet.

I think that's all the big news for right now.  I have some other good stuff to talk about, and I'll try to get to that this week, before I leave for RT.

Lip Balm Flavor of the Day: Cat Pee

Sock Problems

Nothing much to see here.  I just need to post a couple of pictures so I can in turn post them on my knitting forum.  Unless of course someone knows how to repair this.  It's my mom's first pair of handknit socks, and she's very sad.  :(

What are you doing, lady?

Frog in a Party Hat

I finished a new knitting project tonight.  Don't adjust your screens, it really is this bright.

OK, maybe the color doesn't come through really well in this picture, but trust me, it's BRIGHT.

The pattern is Sockhead, and the name of the colorway is Frog in a Party Dress, so I've named this Frog in a Party Hat.  It's nice and cozy, but not so heavy that I couldn't wear it in spring or fall as a fashion statement.  (You know me, I'm all about the fashion statement.)  I'm quite satisfied with this hat, and I expect that there will be more Sockheads to come.  And I already have plans for the leftover yarn, of which there is a fair bit.  A book of sock patterns came in the mail today, and there's a really cute one that calls for just a little bit of a contrasting color.  This pink and green yarn should be almost a shock of color against a black yarn.  Or maybe  it will work against some deep purple I have in my stash.  We'll see.

My brother and sister-in-law came for dinner tonight.  Jer's birthday is in mid-February, and he very humbly requested another pair of heavy house socks.  He asked for a pair for Christmas, and he loves them so much that he hasn't been willing to skip wearing them around the house long enough to get them washed!  Clearly, this is a guy who needs at least one more warm pair of handknit socks.

Lip Balm of the Day: Pink Cake

The Collage

I finally got my act together and assembled the collage for the story I'm doing for Fast Draft!  Here's the picture:

I'm sure the text is too small to read, so the top one is a quote from the beginning of The Hobbit.  It says:

This is a story of how a Baggins had an adventure, and found himself doing and saying things altogether unexpected.  He may have lost the neighbors' respect, but he gained-- well, you will see whether he gained anything in the end.

The other one says:

"Nothing Happens without risk."  Anne Packard

It's on a magnetic board, and the round things are all magnets I made for the collage.  Some are just pictures, but most of them say something, like "Keep Calm and Rock On" or "Keep Calm and Do It Anyway".  A couple are Big Bag quotes, including "I'm clearly too evolved for driving" and "I am not crazy, my mother had me tested".

The pictures all represent a character or group of characters or some aspect of the story.  The big 3 is to remind me that in stories, things often happen in threes.  So if I'm stuck, look for something that needs to repeat.

I guess that's it.  If you have any questions about any of the images, or can't tell what they are (the overall picture may be a little small if you don't already know what you're looking at), just ask.

I've already procrastinated the day away, so I'm going to go poke at a blank page and see if I can't at least rack up a few words before bed.

Lip Balm of the Day: White Cranberry

What I Want

I think this picture expresses pretty perfectly what I want for myself in 2012.

I used to dream.  I dreamed that I'd at least walk, if not run, the Disney marathon.  I dreamed of settling down and raising a family.  I dreamed of being a published author someday.  And I worked toward those dreams.  I trained for that marathon, and I did a lot of 5k's and even one 10k, although the marathon never happened for me.  I kept my eyes open for the right guy, the one I'd want to raise a family with, and I never found him.  Or, I should say. I haven't found him yet, although the hard realities of my life make never having had those kids more of a blessing than a regret.  And until I got sick and discouraged and, let's face it, depressed, I worked on my writing, too.

It's time for me to discover what my dreams are again, to believe in them, and to start working toward making them a reality.  I know I still want to be a published author, maybe more now than before, with some of those other dreams gone.  So that's the one I'm going to work on right now.  I'm not entirely sure *how* I'm going to work on it.  I feel like I've got a whole set of muscles that have forgotten how to move.  Is there such a thing as author's therapy?  Writer's rehab?  If so, I need to check myself in for an inpatient program!  Short of that, I need to start flexing those creative muscles again, playing with ideas and possibilities, laying the groundwork in my head for putting words on paper.

I'm going to wear those pendants as much as possible this year, to remind myself to Dream and Believe.  Dream and Believe and then Act.  It doesn't get you where you want to be if you don't have all three.

This is a Little Embarrassing

As I mentioned the other day, I'm getting started on my 2012 New Year's resolutions.  (Why wait to make positive changes in your life, right?)  So, I'm going to kill two birds with one stone here-- post some pictures and talk about the cleaning and organizing I need to do.

Here they come, the embarrassing pictures.

This is the giant pile of crap that completely blocks access to my closet.  There are a couple of tubs and boxes on the bottom, with clean clothes, yarn, shipping boxes, and God knows what else in the mix.  I haven't measured it or anything, but it's probably 5 feet long, 2 feet deep, and waist high at one end.  This is probably my most daunting challenge.  A lot of this stuff needs to go into the closet, somehow.  But I can't *get to* the closet with the pile in the way.  And I don't have the energy or the space to move the pile so I can get to the closet and put it all away.  It's a conundrum.  But I'll figure something out.

This is one end of the pile, and also the little table I use as my nightstand.

This is the other end of the pile, as well as my dresser, which is thoroughly cluttered and covered in about a quarter inch of dust.  On the positive side, you can see my Christmas cards hanging on the door!

This is the set of plastic drawers that I use as my other nightstand.  See the pink/white/black thing under the tissue box?  That's the sack sock I mentioned a couple posts ago.  It's coming along nicely!

As you can see, the whole room is piled, packed, choked with stuff.  Part of the problem is me.  I have a hard time letting go of stuff that I think I might need.  Or I set something aside, and then it disappears from my mind.  It just doesn't exist for me anymore.  It does, however, continue to collect dust for the next 6 months until I finally throw it away.

But a really big part of the problem is I have no organizational tools or system.  That blue tub at the bottom of the first picture is filled with CDs.  But I have no place to put them.  There are two or three boxes of books taking up space on the floor of my closet, but I have no shelves to put them on.  That big ol' dresser?  Holds a lot less stuff than you might think.  (But to be fair, I really need to go through some of it and either pack it up for winter or just let it go all together.)

I haven't started doing my one song of cleaning a day.  I was thinking about doing that today, but I did 11 minutes on the Wii instead (first time in *months*), and between that and MTX day, I am pretty well worn out.  But I have started thinking about how I want to arrange things as I get them put away.

Shelves and such are not an option right now.  The room desperately needs to be painted (the walls are scuffed up and full of nail holes, and one wall is painted a horrible gray-purple), and I don't want to put anything big and heavy in the room that will have to be moved to get to the walls.  And since it's January, it's going to be months before the weather is really appropriate for painting.  I'm looking at probably 6 months, minimum, before I can put in shelves.  (Also, I want to put in some sort of entertainment system to hold my TV and for storage.)

All this listing of what's wrong, and what I need and can't get right now is starting to feel like a novel.  A long, boring, Russian novel.  Something by Turgid.  (Points to anyone who gets the reference!)  I think I'm going to leave this here and come back tomorrow with what I see as my specific requirements for my room, and what I'm going to try to do to meet them in the short run, even if I can't have my dream room right now.

Lip balm of the day: Pick Me Up Peach!  (And boy did I need it.)

In Flux

I don't know about you, but for me the week between Christmas and New Year's is always an odd one.  The old year is over, but the new one hasn't started yet.  It's a time for wrapping up old business and gearing up for the new.

For the old business, I'm mostly making sure that my book and knitting records are up-to-date, bills are paid, that kind of thing.  Reading the last of the holiday stories-- tonight's is Carol of the Bellskis, a m/m Hanukkah story.  And wrapping up a stray knitting project-- a hat made from the leftover yarn from my brother's Christmas socks that I intend to donate to a local homeless shelter.

For new business, I've started my first knitting project for myself.  It's this sack sock to collect all the random plastic bags that I keep finding all over my room.  (For someone who rarely leaves the house and shops almost exclusively online, I have a shocking number of plastic bags floating around the place.)  (Bonus, it will help me keep my room clean!)  I've picked up a couple of songs that inspire me for the beginning of a writing soundtrack.  I'm not working hard yet, but I'm poking in that direction.  And I've got my eye on a reading challenge over at Goodreads that should help me control the ebook buying issue.  I felt like crap today (monthly surge in symptoms, plus I'm just worn out from the past week or so), so no activity whatsoever, and no cleaning.  I think I might need the same for tomorrow.  But Wednesday, look out!  I'll poke around and do something or other.  My favorite Wii game encourages me to compete against myself, to always go just a little further, so once I get into it again that should help keep me motivated.

So, progress.

And with that, I will leave you with a picture.  I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back I discovered someone had stolen my spot.

It's a little hard to tell, because the bed is so cluttered.  But that green thing is the hat, almost finished then, and completed now.  There's also a cone of white/black/pink yarn that I'm using to make my sack sock.  I'm getting an interesting swirling stripe effect as it knits up.  I'll take a picture in a day or two, when I'm further along and it's easier to see what's going on.

'Night, all!

Christmas Pictures

We had a lovely Christmas Day, and I hope you all had the same.  Relaxing, with lots of fun and laughter.  I'm too tired to write a real post, so here are some pictures of our Christmas decorations.

It's Coming

It's almost here.  No, not Christmas.  2012.  I've been thinking a lot in the last few weeks about what I want to happen, what I want to do, in 2012.  The first decision I made was that I want to cut my reading way back.

I'll give you a moment to recover from that bombshell.

Right now I'm on target to read 300 books in 2011.  That's a lot of books, and I've enjoyed all that reading thoroughly.  But I want to expand a few horizons in 2012, which means I'm going to have to spend less time reading.  My goal is to cut the reading in half-- I'm aiming for 150 books in 2012.

The big reason I want to cut the reading time is that I want to significantly increase the writing time.  As in, actually do some.  My goal is a little fuzzy in this area, but I think I want to go for two completed pieces in 2012, with at least one of those stories polished up and ready for submission.  (I know that sounds massive, but I'm thinking novella length, not 80,000+ word novels.)

I really want to knit some stuff this year.  It's been fun getting back to knitting after taking off most of 2011.  (Depression and joint pain pretty much killed my interest in it for a while.)  I'm thinking about doing a 12 in 12.  That is, 12 projects completed in 2012.  But not just any projects.  I want them to be stuff for ME.  I knit things for other people all the time, but I don't remember the last project I made for myself.  I have a boat load of sock yarn, with one slow going sock on the needles.  I have a *gorgeous* beaded scarf that I started like two years ago and have never finished.  I have a wacky shawl that I started a few months ago and had to set aside for other projects.  I just want to do some stuff for myself.

I want to get into the habit of gentle, regular exercise.  I know it will help me significantly.  Exercise is one of the major recommendations for people with Fibromyalgia.  Physical activity kills me right now, and it probably will for quite a while once I get started.  But I can't use that as an excuse anymore.  I have to do it.

Part of the reason I want to improve my condition and stamina is that there is not just one, but *two* conventions I'd really like to go to in 2012.  RT (Romantic Times) is in Chicago in April.  That's too close to miss if there's any way I can make it.  If I want to do anything other than sleep in my room all week, I've got to get my body used to moving and doing again.  The other convention is Gay Rom Lit, which is in October in Albuquerque.  Getting there will be a bit of a pain in the ass.  Either I'll have to fly, which will be quick and hopefully painless.  (Minus any body cavity searches security might decide to run.)  My other option would be to take the train.  Which actually sounds fun and romantic, riding the rails and all.  But it adds at least two days of travel both directions, and that might do me in.  (If I get a room with a bed, which I would absolutely do on a trip of this length, the price will be about the same as flying first class, which I kind of need to do for the larger seat size.  So pricing isn't the issue so much as how hard each travel option is likely to be on me.)

My thought process right now is that I'll try RT and see how it goes.  If I have a major problem, well, home is only a couple of hours away.  If I make it through RT without a hitch, then I have a better idea if I'll be up to the trip to Albuquerque in October.

You didn't think I would make it all the way through a list of goals without saying something about my disaster area, did you?  I want to do a little bit of cleaning every single day.  I'm not up to big stuff.  Just the thought of tackling the whole thing is enough to make me roll over and go back to sleep.  What I'm going to do is put on some music and clean to at least one song every day.  If I clean to one 3-5 minute song a day, it adds up to 20-35 minutes of cleaning time a week.  That will make at least a small dent in the disaster every week.  There are plenty of things I can do for 3-5 minutes without even leaving my bed.  Like clearing all the accumulated junk off my nightstands.  I think clearing out the crap and clutter will make me feel better emotionally.  It will probably help physically, too, because we've gotten well beyond the "write your finger in the dust" stage in spots.  (I give the computer screen and a short set of shelves by the bed a quick swipe with a Swiffer duster when I think about it, which isn't often.  Everything else is on its own.)

Finally, this is kind of a new idea to me, and I'm a little unsure about it.  But I think I might want to try the 365 Project.  If you're unfamiliar, the idea is to take a picture every day for 365 days, and post them.  I've really enjoyed snapping pictures with my Samsung thingy, and it might be fun to challenge myself to find something interesting to take a picture of every day for a year.  The challenge would be that I rarely leave the house.  At least 320 pictures would need to be taken from inside the house.  (And that may be a slightly generous on the side of how many out-in-the-world pictures I actually manage to take.)  I feel like this might push me a little, in a good way.  So I think I'm going to do it.

So, there you go.  Seven sections of goals for the new year.  (I'm also considering a book buying cap.  I have enough TBR books on the Kindle right now that I could make my 150 books goal and still have some left over.  But not buying books that I want is HARD, especially when you've got gift certificates or there's a sale on.  I'll be contemplating this one a bit more.)  Will I make them all?  Who knows.  But it feels like they're all pretty reasonable.  They're all action in a positive direction.  So I think for now they'll do.

Check Out My Dealie Boppers!

Delia reminded me that I haven't posted a picture of my birthday dealie boppers yet, so here it is!  I apologize for the moon pajamas and my total unwillingness to put on a bra.  That's hard work, and I just wasn't up for it tonight.

You can't see it in the picture, but there are flashing lights on the dealie boppers.  Also, check out my red hair!  I talked to my mom about the green hair thing, and decided not to do it right now.  I'm planning to go to Christmas Eve services with them (I never go to church, so it's kind of a big deal to Mom), and I know it would completely humiliate them for me to show up with green hair.  I know that's silly, but I'll respect their feelings about it.

Also, I talked to the hairstylist, and apparently maintaining an unusual color is a hell of a lot of work.  I'd probably be re-dying my hair every week to two weeks.  I am so not up for that right now.  So I'll be sticking with the fiery, but longer lasting, red.

And since you can't really see them in that first photo, here are the giant hoop earrings that I talked about a million years ago but never posted a picture of.

Aren't they fantastic?  They looked good with the scraggly blond mop that I used to have, but they really work with the red.

Also, taking clear pictures of myself, one handed, with that thing was a serious pain in the butt.  Definitely not designed for taking pictures of yourself one handed.

In other news, there are two jars of cherries draining in the refrigerator right now.  Tomorrow is chocolate covered cherry day!  Messy, but fun.  And the results are worth it.  Better than any chocolate covered cherry you'll buy in the store.  The recipe I use is in the Better Homes & Gardens cookbook.  (Also available online here.)  They're a little harder to find, but if you decide to make this recipe, take the time to find cherries with stems.  Your results will be much better.  (Especially if you're not an experienced candy maker.)

I think that's all the news and pictures for today.  I've started my brother's socks, but just barely.  I need to get trucking on them if he's going to get something more than an IOU in his stocking.  And I haven't finished embellishing my peanut, but maybe I'll have pics of that tomorrow!

Lip balm of the day: a very festive and seasonal White Cranberry.  (It's way yummy!)

Toffee!

As you may have noticed, there have been a lot more pictures around here lately.  I bought that Samsung Galaxy Player a couple of weeks ago, and I'm having much fun snapping pictures of everything around me.  The pictures are much better than what I was getting from my cheapo digital camera, too!

Anyway, tonight I made toffee.  My uncle really enjoys it, so I send him a batch for Christmas every year.  It's really easy to make, too.  (The recipe I use is from the Better Homes & Gardens cookbook.  Here's the recipe from their website.)

On to the pictures!

This is the toffee cooking.  It's approximately at firm ball stage.  Hur.

Here's the toffee poured out and cooling.

And this is the finished product.  Toffee covered with semi-sweet chocolate and pecans!  I'll make another batch tomorrow or the next day without the nuts.  Dad can't have them, and they're a pretty bad idea for me, too, because of the Crohn's.  I would be shocked if Mom doesn't manage to sneak a piece or two of the be-nutted batch, though.  She really enjoys them.

Mmm, Stollen

I wish someone would get on the ball and invent smell-o-vision.  (Or smell-o-internet, I guess.)  Because, seriously?  Best smell in the world!

Christmas Cookies!

My brother and SIL came over for dinner tonight, and this was the after dinner entertainment.

Here Comes Trouble

This is his "woman, get that flash out of my face" look.  It is perhaps more adorable to me than to others.

Meow!

Just for the Fokker

I saw this and immediately thought of Betty Fokker.  Don't you agree?

Picturepalooza

I'm not feeling particularly wordy today, and I just downloaded a bunch of old pictures off of my parents' camera, so congratulations!  You're getting pictures today!

These first few are Christmas ornaments that I knit for my brother and sister-in-law as Christmas presents a few years ago.

The "body" of this little guy is a wine cork I got from
someone on Freecycle.  Recycling at it's finest!

Mini sock

Itty bitty sweater!
You'll notice that all the other ornaments are Hallmark.
My SIL works part time at a Hallmark store.

Troubbie the Wonder Cat
Also, you can see a very *small* part of my yarn collection
there on the left.

My Christmas tree.  Wasn't it pretty?

We had Christmas crackers!
Isn't it lovely how my paper hat matches my outfit?

Dad had a hat, too, and he looks absolutely thrilled about it.

Huge time jump!

Here's a picture of what will be my bedroom in the new house.
I haven't seen it in person yet, but according to my brother,
it really is as small as it looks.

Closet!

And one last set of pictures to finish off with the Christmas theme.

Snowman!

Snowman butt!