Irresolute

It's New Year's Resolution time, and as Crusie would say, I got nothin'.  No specific goals.  Nothing special I want to do in the coming year.  Maybe I'm just tired.

Resolutions, ideally, should be a mixture of things we know we can do but just haven't done yet, and things we aren't sure we can do, but we're willing to try.  Right now I have many things that I don't even want to admit I want because it's just setting myself up for failure, and other things that I genuinely have no interest in.

For example, saying I want to write a book would be setting myself up for failure, because right now I barely have the attention span to finish a blog post, let alone a book.  I'm not going to resolve to lose weight, even though I really, really need to, because routine errands outside the house exhaust me.  The thought of doing the kind of exercise required for weight loss makes me want to roll over and go back to sleep.

So instead, there are a few things I'm going to try to do, when I think about it.  I'm going to turn off the computer and read more books, when I think about it.  I'm going to blog more, when I think about it.  I'm going to use the Wii to move a little more, when I think about it.  I'm going to try to be better about keeping up with friends, when I think about it.  I'm going to work on my beaded scarf and sock yarn blankie, when I think about it.  I'm going to put away some of the crap still lingering in the corners of my room from the move, when I think about it.  (You'd think that living with the boxes and suitcases 24/7 would keep this particular project in the front of my mind.  You'd be wrong.  Fibro fog has eaten my brain.)

That's about it, I guess.  If I can just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and maybe make a little bit of progress on the good days, I'll count 2011 as a success.  I guess that's pretty much the definition of success for everyone.  I just have to remember to keep adjusting my ideas of "progress" and "good days" so I can get there, too.